Loss, Pain and Heartache
by Charming-Prue
Summary: Set after the winter finale. Cat and Vincent have secrets about the night she shot him. Will they find their ways back together or is everything lost?
1. Chapter 1

Hi. This is a little something I came up with. I have not Beta and english in not my birth language so I apologize for all the mistakes.

Probably just a one-shot, I don't know yet.

I do not own the characters or anything at all about this show. This is just for fun and to help wait until January.

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Vincent didn't know if Tess and JT were getting along before he lost his memories, but they seemed quite friendly, talking on the couch in JT's living room. Despite a few awkward moments between them, it sounded like they were enjoying what seemed to be beer and pizza night.

Vincent smiled when JT made a joke that Tess couldn't really understand since it was about computers. He wished he could be inside with them, but after he almost killed Catherine's father and chose to be a beast, he knew he was far from welcome in their lives. So he just used his super hearing to listen to their conversation. It was creepy, yet he needed to know how Catherine was doing. It's been two days since she shot him and he just wanted to make sure she was okay. Of course he could have spy on her from her fire escape but he knew he wouldn't be able to stay away from her if he saw her. And he knew he had to stay away. It was what was best for her.

Tess and JT kept on talking for a while until Vincent's old friend finally asked: "How's Catherine?"

"Not so good." Tess replied truthfully.

"It's been a rough couple of months." JT said.

"Try dozen of months." Tess sighed before continuing: "First she loses Vincent and her adoptive father, then she gets Vincent's back but he has no memories. Her sister leaves for Miami and she finds out that her biological father is a complete douche. On top of that, Vincent, the love of her life chooses his beast side and…"

"And she loses her baby." JT finished.

"She doesn't deserve any of this…" Tess added shaking her head.

Vincent felt his chest constrict… loses her baby… Could it be? Of course it was.

"What can we do to help her?" JT asked.

"I don't know… She's a mess, I've never seen her like this." Tess replied.

"Vincent." JT said in a murmur.

"Don't even go there JT." Tess warned.

"He's the only one who could help her. We have to let him know." JT said.

"No we don't. It's Cat's decision to make, not ours. He chose Tori and his beast side to her, it's all on him. He's not going to make her feel better, he's going to make her feel worse." Tess said sternly.

"I know, I know but he isn't really himself when he's near Tori and…" JT started but Tess cut him off.

"Don't defend him!" Tess almost yelled.

"Was she really… pregnant?" They both turned with shocked expressions on their faces at the view of Vincent standing in front of them. Neither of them had heard him come in.

"Hey man, it's good to see you." JT tried yet he was a little bit scared.

"Was she?" Vincent asked again.

As no one answered, he shook his head and left.

"Oh boy." Was all JT could mutter.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*

When she opened the door of her apartment, Catherine Chandler wasn't expecting to see him standing in front of her. Firstly because he rarely used the door and secondly because after she shot him, she didn't think she would see him again. Yet he was standing there, with his hands in his pockets. He looked tired but he had just received a bullet and didn't have the ability to heal himself anymore. He shouldn't even be up on his feet right now.

"Catherine." She heard him whisper, taking her out of her thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" She snapped at him.

"I was.. huh… I wanted to see how… huh… you were doing." He tried to talk and hide his emotions.

"Shouldn't you be with your new girlfriend?" She asked. "What is it with you and the redheads anyway?"

"Could you let me in please?" He asked.

"First there was Alex, but you may not remember her, or do you? Then Tori. They have their ways with you. Promise you a future that you don't see with me."

"Catherine, please let me in." He asked again.

"Why don't you break the door in two?" She asked back.

"Catherine, please." He almost begged impatiently.

She sighed and moved away from the door to her living room where she sat on the couch. There was no use in slamming the door on his face because it wasn't what could stop Vincent Keller.

"We need to talk." He said, examining her. She looked so tired and so pale, it angered him that it was all because of him. She seemed so fragile that all he wanted to do was to wrap his arms around her and comfort her. But he couldn't. Her father was right, he wanted her to be safe and being safe meant that a half-human, half-beast couldn't be in her life anymore.

"I don't want to talk Vincent, you made your choice, your decision and chose to be a cold blooded killer, there is nothing more to add." She said, looking away from him.

"I heard JT and Tess talk… about the baby." He said abruptly.

"I don't want to talk about it." She said, getting up and walking to her room. She knew that if she talked about it, she wouldn't be able to stay strong, she would break into tears and that was the last thing she wanted. She had cried too much. In just one night she had lost everything, it was more than she could take. She just wished she could make it stop, all the pain and the heartache. She longed to be in his arms, to feel loved and safe again. She laughed at her own stupidity. There was no going back.

He followed her and grabbed her arm before she could reach her bed.

She turned to face him and he saw fear in her eyes, he let her go and made a step away from her.

"I don't want to talk about it." She repeated.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" He asked.

She shook her head slowly and smiled sadly.

"I wanted too. When we were at Reynold's. I had just found out and I wanted to wait for the right moment to tell you. After you attacked him, I went outside to look for you and let you know I was pregnant. I thought that maybe it would be good news for you and it would make things right somehow." She explained.

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and added: "I saw you with Tori and then you told me that there was no 'us' anymore."

A tear escaped her eyes, she dried it quickly and tried her best to smile.

"After that we both went after Reynolds and I shot you, so there wasn't a good time to let you know." She said, trying to keep the rest of her tears a bay.

"When did you… hum… when… ho-how…?" He tried to ask but she cut him off knowing exactly what he was asking.

"The same night." She replied. "I went to my roof, I kept telling myself that it was to say goodbye but I guess I was just waiting for you, hoping that you would show up. And then, it just happened, I felt sick and I lost the baby."

Catherine looked at him for a moment, his eyes were wet with tears. He knew it was his fault, he was the one who caused her car accident and all the stress she had to go through.

"You should have let me know what was happening." He said.

"You chose to leave Vincent. You told me you didn't want to be with me. You made that very clear." She said, anger rising in her voice.

"You had no rights to keep it from me." He said.

"You decided to let the beast win! I begged you Vincent, I begged you to choose me, to choose your humanity, to choose us, but you didn't. You chose the beast and you chose Tori." She told him.

"I had to do it!" Vincent exclaimed, his eyes flashing yellow. Catherine took a step back and her legs hit the bed. He scared her, and it was all for the best. He couldn't tell her that he didn't want to kill Reynolds, that it was just an act to make her understand that they couldn't be together, that he wasn't good enough for her. She was better off without him and he knew that she wouldn't let go unless he lost his humanity, unless he betrayed her. Tori wasn't near when he attacked Reynolds. When Catherine begged him to choose her, he almost didn't go through with it, hearing her heartbeat made him morph back to his human form. He thought about just knocking her father unconscious and then kiss her like there was no tomorrow. But he knew Reynolds was right, they couldn't be together and for Catherine to be safe, Vincent had to leave her. So he morphed back and he let her shoot him. He was surprised when she shot him and it hurt like hell, although he didn't know what hurt more, his heartbreak or the gun wound.

She sighed and said: "I can't do this Vincent. I don't have the strength to fight with you. Please go."

"I'm sorry." He said.

"Just go." She told him, looking away from him.

"Let me be here for you Catherine." He said even if he knew he shouldn't have.

"No." She replied. "It doesn't change anything Vincent. You're gone."

"I'm right in front of you, right here and right now, I am with you." He told her.

"You're here because you've heard that I lost a baby, not because you want to be." She said before adding: "Thank you for coming and checking on me. You should go now."

He opened his mouth to say something but he didn't, he was at loss of words. He simply nodded at her and turned to walk away. It was what he had to do, leave. His heart wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how much he needed her in his life to keep him sane. He didn't know what he would do now, without her in his life. He wished he could be able to lessen her pain, tell her that everything was going to be alright.

Suddenly, his head started to spin. He shook his head, hoping the feeling would go away. He slowed his pace and put his hand on the wall for support.

"Vincent?" He heard Catherine's worried voice.

He stumbled, fell on the hallway floor and everything went black.

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Please let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! Thanks a lot for all the reviews! Keep'em coming! Here's a new chapter!

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"Vincent!" Catherine repeated, shaking his shoulder gently.

"Vincent please, open your eyes." She told him. He was scaring her, not because of his beast side but because she was terrified of losing him. As much as she was mad at him for trying to kill her father, she needed him in her life and she couldn't imagine him dying on her.

Finally, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at her, a bit confused.

"I-I… I'm sorry Catherine." He mumbled.

"What's happening to you?" She asked with an evident concern in her voice.

"Nothing." He replied, trying to get up. "How long was I out?"

"Just a minute." She answered with her hand on his arm, ready to catch him in case he collapsed again. That's when she saw the blood on his shirt, where she shot him. She felt her heart and throat constrict.

"Vincent, you're bleeding." She told him, pointing at his shirt.

"It's alright Catherine. I'm going to go now." He said a little embarrassed.

"Don't…" She told him. "Let me clean your wound, it's the least I can do since I am the one who inflicted it."

"You don't have to. I'll be just fine." He told her.

"I know but I have the feeling that once you'll be out that door I will never see you again and I don't want us to part on a fight or with you collapsing in the hallway." She explained with pleading eyes. Truth was that she didn't want to part at all.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes." She replied with conviction.

She led him to the couch and instructed: "Lay down."

Vincent obliged, trying his best to avoid her gaze.

"I'll be right back." She said before disappearing to her room.

Vincent closed his eyes and focused on her heartbeat, it was like music to his ears. She was back in no time next to him with some medical supplies and a shirt.

"You left it here." She said noticing that he was looking at his shirt as she blushed a little.

"I remember." He whispered, he seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

She smiled and said: "That was not so long ago."

"No, I mean, I remember when we were in the pool, at the hotel." He explained.

"JT told you about it." She said before sighing and adding: "What game are you playing Vincent? I don't understand. If you need something just spill it and let's get this over with."

She tried to get up but he stopped her by grabbing her wrist. Was he still trying to get something from her by lying about his memories?

He explained: "I remember jumping into the water and then splashing you. I remember watching you laugh and thinking that I was the luckiest guy in the world that such a beautiful woman could love a beast like me."

Knowing that he had her attention, he let go of her wrist and continued: "That's why I collapsed, I had a flashback… of us."

She smiled finally relaxing and told him: "That was a very good moment… unfortunately it was also in another lifetime."

"I remember we talked about…" He started but she cut him off.

"Let me clean your wound." She said, not wanting to take a trip down memory lane. She knew what they talked about. It was about their future, about the possibility of having a family together. A single tear escaped her eye and Vincent gently placed his hand on her knee for some comfort. She slowly lifted his now bloody shirt and tended to his injury. He stayed quiet until she was done and he then changed into his clean shirt. It smelled like her and he loved it.

"We imagined our future together because we thought I had a chance to be human again." He said, he had to make her understand that she needed to move on.

"Vincent please don't." She asked him, shake her head.

"I'm a beast Catherine." He told her, trying to make her understand that there was no future for them anymore.

"When I look at you I don't see a beast." She told him in a whisper, making eye contact with him.

"I killed people, ripped Winsor's heart out and tried to kill your father." He said.

She looked away as tears were now running freely down her cheeks.

"Enough is enough Catherine. You were right." He added his own tears falling down his face. She couldn't keep making excuses for him, he was the reason she had lost her baby, which was unforgivable.

"I need you Vincent." She choked breaking into uncontrollable sobs.

He sat up, wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

She buried her face in the crock of his neck, wrapped her arms around him tightly and she let go. She cried and cried again, wetting his shirt in the process but she didn't care and he didn't either. She felt safe, warm and protected in his arms, she always did. She cried for the loss of Vincent and their baby. He stayed quite, just holding her and comforting her, running a hand up and down her back while the other was buried in her hair, stroking her head. He didn't understand why she was doing that. She was supposed to be scared of him, to hate him.

After a while, her crying subsided and her heartbeat slowed, she had cried herself to sleep, in his arms. He sighed and kissed her head. He considered carrying her to her bed but his wound wouldn't allow that. He shifted slowly, laying her on the couch. When he tried to pull back, she protested, whispering a small 'no' and not letting go of him, even in her sleep.

Vincent looked at her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, she was so beautiful and he loved her so much, it was almost too painful to look at her.

Not letting go of her, he laid on the couch, his eyes heavy with sleep. Neither of them had slept since that night. He grabbed the grey tartan rug to cover the both of them. He focused on her heartbeat, imagining that not so long ago, maybe he would have heard another. Maybe if he had listened closely he would have heard another heartbeat when he was grasping Reynolds' throat, maybe he wouldn't have gone through with his plan to make Catherine believe he had lost his humanity.

Catherine shifted, adjusting her position on the couch and laying her head on his bicep, pressing her face against his chest. How was he supposed to leave her now when that was the last thing he wanted to do? He had been brave enough to pretend to choose to be a beast and kill her father and now he had to leave her again. He wanted her to be safe, to have a future and that was only possible for her if he wasn't in her life.

He kissed her forehead, resolved to tell her the truth, to tell her that he loved her with every fiber of his being but that he couldn't keep on hurting her like he did for the past few months. Her pain had to stop and she had to move on. Slowly he closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*

It was early in the morning when Vincent woke up and looked down to see Catherine staring at him.

"You looked so peaceful." She whispered.

He didn't answer and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being close to her.

"Three cross-species DNA children." She said.

He opened his eyes and said: "And a small dog."

"You remember that too?" She asked him.

He nodded and she said: "I hoped that it was a boy, a little Vincent who looked just like you."

"Catherine…" He whispered, brushing a tear from her face. He hated that she was hurting so much and that he couldn't help her and he hated even more the fact that he was the one who was hurting her.

"Thanks to Tori, we now know that cross-species babies are a possibility." She said.

"A girl." Vincent told her. She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"I hoped it would be a girl. A baby girl just as beautiful and brave as you. With your smile. A little girl with your smile. I don't think I would have been able to say no to her." He told her.

"Why did you do it?" She asked before adding: "Chose to lose your humanity, to end us?"

"I am a beast, I've tried to suppress this part of me for too long, it's time I embrace it." He explained. Could she tell when he lied?

"I wish I was enough." She told him.

"You are enough Catherine. It just that I can't look at you without seeing the pain I've cause you. I'm the reason you've lost your baby…" He said but she corrected immediately him by saying: "Our baby."

He sighed and continued: "Our baby… I won't be able to redeem myself out of this. Hell I don't even want to. I deserved to be hated and to suffer for what I've done until the end of my life."

"So this is really the end of us then…" She said as tears welled in her eyes once again.

"I'm afraid so." He told her, their tears matching.

She whispered: "Don't leave just yet."

"Alright." He agreed, holding her tighter.

She buried her face in the crock of his neck and inhaled his scent like she loved to do. Damn she loved him so much it hurt. Why couldn't it be simple? Like just right now in his arms, she was feeling so safe and calm. She wanted to spend the rest of her life in his arms. He could make her pain go away, he was the only one able to do that. She kissed his neck once and she felt butterflies in her stomach, she kissed him again, tasting him with her tongue, teasing him.

"Catherine, don't." She heard him whispered. She pressed her body against his and felt his hand on her hip, stopping her.

"Catherine please." He said as she continued to kiss his neck, making her way up to his face, she knew what would make her feel better and think about something else than all the troubles in her life.

"I said stop!" He almost yelled, his eyes glowing yellow.

Catherine looked up at him, terrified. What was going on? Didn't he want her anymore? Why was he so angry?

Before any of them could say something, there was a knock on the door. Catherine got up and opened it, using the welcome distraction to move away from him.

"Where is he?" Tori asked, stepping inside without being invited.

"Of course." Catherine shook her head and said with a sigh: "Your girlfriend's here."

She walked to her room and shut it closed behind her, leaving Tori and Vincent together. She sat on her bed and put her face in her hands. Of course he didn't want her to kiss him, he had heard Tori coming. Was he in love with Tori? It was clear that their connection was stronger, Catherine couldn't compete with that. Their shared a bond, this beast part of their selves that Catherine wouldn't be able to understand. Maybe they were meant for each other and she was just standing in the way.

"Let's get you home." Tori said to Vincent, helping him to get up.

Home. He was already home but he just kept setting it on fire. With one last glance at Catherine door room, he left her apartment with Tori.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Here's another chapter. I'm a pretty slow writter, I must apologize. Anyway, let me know what you think! Hit the review B!

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"You did what now ?" JT asked to his former best friend. Or maybe they were best friends again since Vincent was standing in front of him talking about Catherine.

"I lied to her." Vincent said, slumping his head down.

"Dude she is so not gonna like it." JT replied as he loosened his grasp on the tranq gun.

"She's not going to find out." Vincent tried even if he knew that Catherine would eventually find out that he pretended to choose to lose his humanity.

"Of course she is! She's a freaking detective, one that loves you. Man, I can't believe you just did that." JT said, shaking his head.

"She has to stay away from me. Her father was right, she needs to be happy, to be safe. She needs someone else, someone normal." Vincent explained.

JT sighed, he couldn't believe those two. "Look V, I wasn't on Team Catherine when she showed up at our warehouse for the first time, hell I wasn't on Team Catherine when she kept coming back but she's made you a better person and believe it or not, I'm on her team now."

"You being on her 'team'." Vincent started, emphasizing on the word team before continuing. "It doesn't change the fact that I'm not the right guy for her and it doesn't resolve my problem of beasting out when Tori's around."

"That I can help with but I'll need a sample of her blood." JT replied.

"I'll see what I can do. And JT, I have a favor to ask you." Vincent said.

"Am I going to like it?" JT asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You have to help me find a way to get rid of that side of me." Vincent asked hesitantly.

"No, I'm not going to like it." JT commented, shaking his head.

"Come on man. There's gotta be something you can try." Vincent pleaded.

"Dude we already tried before, it nearly ended you." JT told him, finally letting go of the gun.

"I don't care if it ends me, I need to try, for Catherine. For the hope of a future with her. I don't think being alive without her is worth being alive at all." Vincent explained.

"That's pretty radical." JT said, not feeling at ease with the idea.

"I've been fooling myself thinking that I could be enough for her, my love for her has blinded me, the beast needs to go, that's the only way we can be together." Vincent said, lost in his thought before he looked up at his friend and added: "We could start by trying that flat lining thing."

"No way, it's too dangerous. I'll do some research, they've changed your DNA, maybe I can't find something to work on." JT said, trying to gain sometime before crushing Vincent's hopes into pieces.

"Alright, I have one more favor to ask though." Vincent said.

"I'm listening." JT said.

"Can I stay here? I don't want to go back to the house boat." Vincent said.

"Are you sure that you can control yourself?" JT asked him.

"Yes, I told you as long as Tori's away from me, I'll be just fine." Vincent said.

"Then I guess you can stay here, your room is still here anyway." JT said.

"Thank you JT. If you'll excuse me, I need some rest." Vincent said.

"Alright man. I'll see you later." JT replied.

"Oh and JT, can you get me some morphine?" Vincent asked.

*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o

First there was her heartbeat. It was the most beautiful sound to wake up to. It was distant, but it was still here. And then, there was her voice. Oh, her voice, he loved it so much. And finally, there was pain. That was unusual. His wound was pounding and it made him remember why he felt the pain. Catherine was here and he knew that he had to stay hidden in his room and avoid her. He listened to her voice again, she was talking with JT. He knew that it would hurt even more if he saw her but he had to. He had to see her, to know how she was doing. He got up, wincing at the pain of his wound and groggily made his way to her, the morphine JT had given him was just wearing off.

"Oh you're here." Catherine said with a monotone voice when she saw him.

"I'll leave you two alone." JT excused himself, leaving them together. He didn't want to be caught in the middle of their drama.

"I've be staying with JT. How are you?" He replied.

"I'm fine. How are you?" She told him, her heart was struck in her throat, it was almost painful to talk to him. Yet, she told him a lie and they both knew it.

"I'm fine." It was his turn to reply with a lie, trying his best to hide the pain of his wound.

There was an awkward silence between them as they stared at each other, both analyzing how the other looked and they both looked tired and sad. Vincent was particularly in bad shape and Catherine knew it was her fault. She had shot him and he couldn't heal like before.

"Your wound doesn't look like it's healing properly." Catherine finally commentated.

"It'll be okay." He replied matter-of-factly.

"So, what brings you here." He asked quickly, trying to make some small conversation, one of his arms resting on the couch for support.

"There was a murder. A beast killed someone, I'm on the case." She said emotionless.

"You should take some time off. It's not wise to go back on field so early after what happened." He told her.

"What happened… oh you mean when you tried to kill my father, when you broke my heart or when I lost our baby?" She replied coldly.

"Catherine…" He whispered. He didn't mean it that way. He was just trying to protect her, to make sure that she was alright.

"You don't get to tell me what to do Vincent, not anymore." She snapped at him. She was so conflicted, she wanted to run to him and be in his arms, she wanted him to comfort her but at the same time she was furious at him, she wanted to hit him, to yell at him for not choosing their relationship.

"I know but…" He tried but she cut him off quickly.

"I need to go on with my life because if I don't, I'm going to think about everything that I've lost and won't be able to bare it." She explained with a voice mixed with sadness and regrets. One that broke his heart. She wanted to move on, she needed to and he had to accept it and let her go. Make her understand that he was a monster and that she would be much better off without him. He had a hard time pushing her away, his heart fighting with his mind, love against reason.

"I'm so…" He started but she cut him off again.

"Did you do it? Kill that man?" She asked, changing the subject. She was tired of hearing his constant apologies.

"No." He replied simply and truthfully.

"Is your girlfriend here?" She asked with a bitter tone. If he wasn't the one who attacked that man, it had to be Tori, or another one of Muirfield's experiments, either way she had to find out and put the person responsible behind bars, just like her father.

"She's not my girlfriend, and she's not here. I haven't seen here since the day we were at your place" He said, raising his voice a little.

"Well… I guess I'll be going then." She said.

"_Let her go, let her go_." He thought repeatedly.

She turned and started to walk towards the door when he stopped her by saying: "Catherine wait."

She closed her eyes but did not turn, she didn't want him to see the tears in her eyes.

He made a painful step closer to her and wondered how much longer he would be able to stay on his feet. The pain was blasting through his entire body, he was feeling nauseous and had more and more troubles keeping the beast at bay.

"I'm here, if you need anything." He tried. It was stupid to say that, he had to push her away, pretend like he didn't care. He had to let her go.

"What I need you can't give me." She whispered. And she was right, he knew that she was.

"Go to Gabe, he's a good guy." Vincent said. That was a second stupid thing to say, but it was the truth. As much as it was killing him to say it, Gabe would probably be able to make Catherine happy and he would protect her. He was an ADA and Vincent was sure that Reynolds would gladly give his consent for someone like him to date his daughter.

"I know. He's been there for me ever since you've been missing. I know I can rely on him." She said, turning to face him at last.

Vincent smiled weakly and said: "And you can't rely on me."

"Not anymore." She replied. She meant to hurt him. She was so angry and she wanted to punch him so badly. She wanted to understand why, why she wasn't enough for him, why he hadn't chosen her. What had she done wrong?

He made a few more steps but directed himself towards the vault instead of her.

"What are you doing?" She asked, curious at his change of behavior.

"You should go." He told her, his eyes flashing yellow. He was trying to control himself but he was failing.

He walked slowly inside the vault and locked the door behind him. He turned to face Catherine, resting his forehead against the bars for support and closed his eyes. He couldn't control the beast anymore, he was too weak and the thought of Gabe with Catherine was making him jealous and angry.

He started to changed and looked at Catherine and said: "There is nothing left for you here."

She turned her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Look at me!" He yelled, making her jump and look at him. That was his time, right now to make her go away for good, to be sure that she wouldn't be back for him, that she wouldn't hold onto him, that she would go on with her life.

"This is what I am, I nearly killed your father and killed your baby. Go to Gabe. Leave and never come back." He ordered her, using his sadness and turning it into anger.

He was now in full beast mode and yelled: "Go!"

He was looking straight in her teary eyes, his breathing was erratic and she told him: "I wished you had died the day they took you. It would have been easier, sure I would have grieved but I wouldn't have spent months trying to bring you back only to lose so much at the end."

The beast roared in fury and Catherine left without another word.

He did it. He set her free. She was gone now, wishing he was dead. He would probably be dead soon anyway as he was be unable to treat the growing infection inside his body. The lack of control on the beast due to his exhaustion made it impossible to go to the hospital.

Catherine was gone, was there anything worth fighting for anyway? He could let the beast take the best of him and wait for the infection to kill him. He could not live without Catherine, without her to keep him sane. He couldn't live with the shame of what he had put her through.

He collapsed on the floor and let the beast reign.

JT came rushing in but Vincent Keller was already gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey. I hope there are still some readers out there. If so, please let me know so I can continue to write!

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"Another murder." Tess Vargas sighed as she slumped into her desk chair at the precinct.

"Beast related?" Catherine asked her, barely raising her eyes to look at her partner. Every time she heard or had to pronounce some words as beast, her whole body would tense in anxiety.

"Yup." Her best friend replied.

"And Tori is still MIA..." It was Catherine time to sigh.

"Don't tell me you miss her." Tess snorted.

"I don't. But I do want justice for those murders. You should ask Vincent to help you. Either he's responsible or he could help you find out which beast did it." Catherine explained. The last thing she needed was to see Vincent, let alone ask for his help, but Tess could do it.

There was a moment of silence as Tess pretended to be looking at some files on her desk.

"Tess." Catherine sternly said, knowing exactly what game her friend as playing.

"Hmm yeah?" Tess tried to faint ignorance.

"Vincent could be a lead. Don't you want to investigate on him?" Catherine proposed.

"I don't think he is a lead." Tess replied, trying to sound casual and finally looking up at Catherine.

"What are you not telling me?" Catherine questioned, something was definitely off with her partner.

"Nothing… Just that Vincent isn't a lead." Tess replied before getting up and walking away from Catherine. She didn't want to lie to her best friend but she didn't know if telling her the truth about Vincent was a good idea either.

Unfortunately for Tess, Catherine went after her and said: "But maybe he could help."

Tess stopped in her tracks and turned to face her friend: "Listen Cat… Vincent is not responsible for the murders and he can't help us either. We have to investigate on our own."

Catherine was about to say something but Tess added: "C'mon let's go find whoever did this."

Catherine sighed and stopped for a moment. Something was off with Tess and Vincent but she wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was all about. Yet she wanted to know how he was doing. Last time she saw him, he wasn't in good shape, she could fight it all she wanted, she was still desperately in love with him and terribly mad at him. It was stupid and she knew it because he didn't love her anymore but she couldn't help it.

She finally caught up with Tess at her desk and they quickly grabbed their belongings and got into the car that Tess decided to drive to way to the last murder scene. Tess looked at Catherine who took place in the passenger seat. She resembled a ghost, the ghost of Catherine Chandler. Tess could bet that she hadn't slept or eaten in days.

Her best friend was having one of those moments, where she would just stare blankly at something, her eyes filling with tears. The sadness of her partner broke Tess' heart but she knew that Cat would just shake away the feeling and pretend everything was okay. Every time Tess tried to talk to her, she kept on repeating that she was fine, when she was clearly not. She was heartbroken and probably much more than that. Her best friend was damaged and the only person who could make her feel better was in no condition to help her. Vincent wasn't able to help and Tess wasn't sure it would do them any good to see each other, since JT told her that their last encounter had been pretty chaotic.

Tess saw Catherine's hand rest on her stomach.

"Something's wrong with him, isn't it?" Catherine suddenly asked.

Tess focused her attention on the road and Catherine added: "I can feel it. I can't shake the feeling that something's wrong."

Tess stood silent and Catherine asked: "Have you talked to JT recently?"

Tess briefly closed her eyes. She didn't know what to do. Lie to Catherine or tell her the truth. She debated a few seconds before finally coming to a decision.

The car turned around suddenly and Tess said: "I'm taking you to him. There are things you need to know Cat."

*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o*o

"What are you doing here?" Was the first thing JT asked when he saw Tess and Catherine entering the Gentlemen's Club.

"We need to tell her the truth JT." Tess said.

"We've been seeing ea—" He started but Tess quickly cut him off and said: "About Vincent."

"About Vincent, right." JT said after cleared his throat.

Catherine had trouble keeping her concentration on their conversation as she was looking around the room for any sign of Vincent. When her gaze finally stopped on the vault, she wasn't expecting what she saw. Vincent, into his beast form was inside the cell, lying on his side, inert.

Catherine made her way to him, tears blurred her vision as she covered her mouth with her hand, and suddenly she felt sick.

"He is…?" She managed to shock out.

"No, Cat, he's not." Tess reassured her.

"Well, technically not." JT added only to be elbowed in the ribs by Tess.

"What do you mean?" Catherine turned to face him and tried to regain some composure.

"He's been in beast mode ever since your last encounter last week." JT said, trying not to spill too much information.

"That does not explain why he's 'technically' not dead." Catherine said, this whole thing was getting on her nerves.

"We believe that it's probable that he can't morph back into his human self." Tess said, knowing her partner was getting annoyed because she didn't understand what was going on.

"Because I shot him." Catherine concluded.

"Because you killed him." JT said.

"JT!" Tess shouted, she couldn't believe he just said that out of the blue. They agreed that they needed to protect Catherine. She elbowed him a second time, much harder this time.

"It's not what I meant…. I…" JT fumbled on his words.

Tess witnessed her best friend breaking into tears. Catherine's breathing became swallowed and she made a few steps back.

"I-I… I can't be here… I… I can't… breath." She managed to say.

"Cat, listen to me." Tess said as she walked to her friend.

"What have I done? Oh my God, what have I done?" Catherine said, shaking her head.

"Hey, Cat. Look at me. You had no choice." Tess told her, resting a comforting hand on her arm.

"He's alive, he's a beast but he's alive. You need to calm down." She added.

Tess dragged Catherine towards the couch and they both sat down. She gave JT a nasty look for spilling everything like that.

Catherine took a few breathes to calm herself. She wiped her tears and said: "Alright, explain what happened."

"I think the gunshot wound you inflicted him made him too weak to control the beast. That's why he locked himself in, to protect us from the beast." JT started to explain slowly.

"Why he is not moving?" She asked.

"Because I used the tranq gun on him. His not fully healed yet and I want him to rest so he can heal properly. He can't do that if he's trying to escape or roaring around." JT said.

"If you tranq'd him, why is he still a beast? He's supposed to morph back to his human form." Catherine said.

"That's the problem. I…" JT started before looking at Tess, asking for the permission to break the news… again.

"I believe his human side is dead." JT said solemnly.

Catherine simply nodded and JT explained: "When Gabe died as a beast, it killed his beast. Vincent went in the cell as a human and if he died, it might have killed his human side."

"But you're not sure he died." Catherine said hopefully.

"No. But this is the only explanation I have to why he can't come back to us." JT replied.

"There is still hope." Tess said, trying to brighten things a little.

Catherine slowly got up and walked to the vault. She looked down at the beast in front of her.

She held onto the bars, closed her eyes and whispered: "I'm so sorry."

"Maybe you could make him come back. You often calmed him when he was beasting out in the past." Tess proposed.

"That's actually a good idea." JT added.

"Wonder why you didn't think of it sooner, Mister smarty pants." Tess snorted, still a little mad at him for his lack of tact with Catherine.

Catherine smiled sadly at the memory of her calming Vincent and her eyes filled up with tears again.

"It was love that always brought him back to me. Our love died when I shot him." Catherine explained with sadness.

"He still loves you Cat." JT stated.

Catherine smiled at him and said: "Thank you for trying to make me feel better."

"Well, to thank me, just try to get my best friend back, will you?" JT asked.

"There is no guarantee…" Catherine started.

"Just try Cat." Tess insisted.

They both knew that Vincent had lied to Catherine to protect her. Well, JT knew what Vincent was doing, pushing her away to protect her and he had told Tess. It was complicated, seeing them so heartbroken but they understood what Vincent was trying to achieve and they knew they shouldn't interfere with their friend's love life.

JT handed Catherine the key of the cell, she let her gun on a table so Vincent or the beast wouldn't feel threatened and she went inside the vault and closed the door behind her.

"Can you please leave us?" Catherine asked her friends.

"Just call if you need anything. And be careful." Tess said.

Catherine nodded and turned her attention to Vincent.


End file.
